Like many artists in the world I create what I consider art, but unlike other artists in the world I lack the natural talent others have. When ever I see somebody in my classes work I often wish I could be as good as them, because I consider their art better then mine because of my inability to do what they can do. But recently with the death of Monty Ohm one of my main inspirations for becoming an animator I've come to see something about myself.
Listening to the Rooster Teeth Podcast #309 and hearing Burny, Matt, Gus, and Gray talk about their time with Monty Ohm made me realize something about myself. Monty was a great inspiration to me and many others but hearing about him from his piers and how he conducted himself gave me a better perspective of what it means to be a true artist.
Through out my time at CATO in the 2D Animation Program from day one I told myself that I was going to put eveything I had into every assignment, every project and everything given to me no matter what. In my first quarter I did and it nearly killed me to do so, but I could see I was getting better compared to my classmates whom are levels ahead of me in their art skills. But I found that the thing that limited me the most was time. I've always been obsessed with time for some reason and I've always been eager to make a name for myself out in the industry. I always felt like every moment I was working on something was a waste of time and that time could be focused on more important things.
Many hours of my life have been poured into the scripts for my two shows and I can see my time and effort in them, just at a glance I can see my hard work engraved into ever piece of dialogue or action. But everyday I skim through them and find little mistakes that I can fix, or a way to change a scene to make it better, or even ripping a scene out and seeing the story still progress as normal and even better. No matter how much time I put into my scripts, no matter how perfect I think they are, there is always something that can be improved but that's only because I have the time to keep perfecting it.
Over the past week I've been reflecting on myself as a person and who I want to be in the future and I've come to an understanding. No matter how you live your life the main thing we are all fighting together is an enemy that cannot be beaten, an enemy that eventually kills all things, an enemy everybody will one day face. The enemy known as Time, Monty Ohm was a man who was always working on something because he was simply awake. The fact that he was existing in time made him want to make the most of it. Monty Ohm believed in always giving everything you got into something because art lasts forever and when you go back and look at it do you wanna say "yeah it doesn't looks so good but I didn't give it my all" or would you rather say "yeah it doesn't looks so good, but I gave it everything I had". Not having that regret is what I strive for. Even if I run myself ragged cause of deadlines on all my projects I'll be happy knowing I'm so tired because I'm giving it my all.
I don't ever wanna look back on something I did here at CATO and say I didn't give it my all, I wanna say proudly I gave it everything I had. Then look back at it in three months and say "Wow I forgot about this, could still use some more work though" because no matter what we always strive for perfection as artists. But sometimes I look back at the things I've done and been happy with the outcome because one of those times, you'll make something and give it everything you had and it turned out just right. That feeling of giving everything you had and your hard work coming to fruition as something beautiful or amazing is possibly the best feeling of all.
In the end we are all faced with the enemy known as Time, one of these days you'll meet you Time and when you do, what are you gonna look back on. For most it's gonna be family and friends, your sons or daughters and other things close to your heart. But for artists after we are long and gone, we will be remembered for the works of art we made in our life time. Looking back on everything you did in your life and you meet your Time, do you wanna have regrets or face your Time knowing this world has everything you had to give.
I for one want to look back and say I gave everything I had to give.
Thanks for reading everybody,
Have a great day.
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